It Is Deeper

Upon reflection
The only way
To pay tribute
To this woman
Pirjo
Would be to perform
An autopsy of my own heart
Publically

There is a reason they
Only do that after you are dead
Besides, it would spoil the food
The safest thing
I can find to say
At this moment
Is that she really liked pink
And promise not to cry
Her legacy
Lives on in her children
Of which I was one
Because God is merciful
And He has gifted me
With the son of Pirjo
Eugene
Which means “Well Born”
To love all my days
For her sake as well as my own
With all my heart
As she loved
That is what she would ask from me
Not flowery speeches
And to step up to the plate
As she charged me to do in this life.
“One day, Anne
It will be your turn
To stand in the place I now stand
And pray for the family
When I am gone”
I tried to picture her, a frail old woman (impossible thought)
Our hearts were entwined
By Design
By Covenant
By Experience
That bond has not been broken
Part of me has gone behind the veil with her
There are no pictures
Of what we shared
Anne she said
Our relationship has always been a spiritual one
Tightly knit together by Him
For Him
With Him
I have lost nothing of her substance
She flows through my veins
Our DNA forever linked
In the flesh
In the spirit
By God
Who chooses well
I am grateful
I am undone
He is working in me
Even now
Through all these days
To reveal something new
Birthed
As she lay dying
There are not words…
I cannot express
What I feel
What I know to be true
Everything has changed
Everything is different
Now
It is deeper
It is richer
It is more
And I realize
The time is short
It won’t be long
Before I see her again
She is watching
She is praying
She is cheering me on
One of the great cloud of witnesses
I want to run well
For her sake now,
As well as for the Lord’s sake
To continue the race
We were running together
She has passed the baton
I am not quite ready to run
I just need a moment
To pause
To reflect
To adjust
To breathe
For my heart to beat again
But I will run
She won’t leave me alone unless I do
Seated with Christ in Heavenly places
At the right hand of the Father
One with the great intercessor
She will give Him no peace
No rest
She will hold on to the hem of His garment
She will not let Him go
Until he shows forth His
Salvation
Unless, that is, he needs her hands
To hold
To dance